“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” –Steve Maaboli
How far would you get if you were trying to drive a car only looking in the rearview mirror?
You would crash over and over and over again - and never ever actually get anywhere. And that frustration would cause you to want to give up because hey, you “tried” over and over and it didn’t work out, right?
Here's the thing- the problem is not that you tried and it didn’t work. The problem is that your focus is in the wrong damn direction! Putting effort into wishing things were different, or burying yourself in what “did” or “could” happen is energy wasted. I am guilty of doing this BIG TIME! (HEY! I'm a work in progress too)
Is it unbelievably hard to accept things when they don’t turn out as you had hoped? But the only way to move forward from the events that show up in our lives is to create a foundation from this place. What you do with what is, not what could have been, is the only thing you that will actually move you forward.
I think this is a part of the flaw in the whole "Law of Attraction/Manifestation process". We focus so hard, envisioning our deepest desires, imagining how we'd like to things to happen but we don't leave room for that divine intervention. We don't ALLOW things to happen. We stay so married to one specific outcome that we leave little room for the Universe to work its magic. And THEN when it doesn't happen we curse the Law of Attraction and think it doesn't work.
As much as we want to believe otherwise, we have control over an incredibly small number of things. If I had to simplify it down to the core, all you really have control over is what you choose to do, today, this hour, this moment…
You cannot control what happens in life (what already happened, what could happen), but you can choose how you respond to it.
You cannot control how other people will respond, but you can control how you show up in the world.
You cannot control how your actions will unfold, but you do have control of how and where you choose to spend your time and energy.
Yet many of us spend most of our lives living caught up in the things we cannot control. And if all your time is spent unconsciously reacting to the things you have absolutely zero control over, there is no space to put into the things you can actually do something about.
So it’s about shifting your focus away from the rearview mirror, and bringing your focus to the road right in front of you, to the here and now, because as harsh as it may sound, accepting that the new reality at hand is the truth (whether you like it or not), is the only possible place you can move forward from. And when you start to become aware of where you’re focusing, that awareness allows you to create acceptance of what is and then shift your focus to what you actually can do something about.
How are you responding to what's happening? How are you shifting? Take the time to fine tune your focus, I promise you it helps!
Step into 2017 AFFIRMED! Join us in January for our New Year retreat! Use the time to fine tune your focus and shift in a powerful way!
Try this Exercise!
Positive Action Exercise:
1. When you find yourself going to the place of what could have been (getting worried or caught up in what did happen), stop and remind yourself: “There is nothing I can do about what already happened. But I can do something about what I do right now.” I had to remind myself over and over again… “This is my new reality, I cannot do anything to change that, but I can choose to live this reality with a smile or a frown.
2. When you find yourself going to the place of what could be (getting worried or caught up in what could happen), stop and ask yourself: “Is this true right now? Not in the future, but right now.” We tend to paint very elaborate pictures of what could be, but more often than not, none of those pictures are actually true in this very moment.