Who loves ya baby!?
Happy November to you! Its a new month AND 60 days left in 2016! Let's get started focusing on the most important relationship you will ever have; the relationship with yourself. Are you the most important person in your life? Wait. If that question makes you slightly uncomfortable, just hear me out! If you immediately thought about why it's NOT okay for you to be the most important person in your life, (maybe you have children, or maybe you are taking care of an elder or MAYBE you just believe putting others first is the way to go) just consider this challenge before you completely dismiss this email. Now I'll ask you again, Are you the most important person in your life? That may sound like a ridiculous question; however, I'm not asking you to answer based on what you say and think. I'm asking you to answer based on what you DO and how you FEEL. What does your schedule from the past 90 days and your stress level say about how much you love you? You have so many people counting on you, depending on you, needing you, expecting you, asking you, looking for you, demanding of you, draining you - Wearing! You! OUT!!! You may not really mind most of the time if you get a level of satisfaction and joy from helping others; that's fine I'm the same way! BUT, there are times that it may not feel so great.
You can probably identify several things that you hate doing or feel obligated to do that make you feel unappreciated by the very ones you do so much for. You might be at the point where you resent having to take care of someone else's needs before your own. Taking care of someone when you are running on empty, be it a child, a spouse, a parent, an employee or a boss, does not feel like love. And that's not a fun feeling. I know when I start feeling that way, there's tons of guilt and shame wrapped around how I SHOULD be feeling. I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this- You are allowing this to happen and it will continue to happen until you love and honor yourself enough to enforce your personal boundaries. Now before you run off all the "really good reasons" we have for neglecting Self, or the fears you have about being selfish, do one thing first. Just acknowledge that there are justifications for not taking care of ourselves as consistently as we could. On a scale of 1-10 with 1 being NEVER and 10 being ALWAYS, rate how often you struggle with: __ Balancing the demands of your work or life with other's needs __ Procrastination or taking too much time to finish what you start __ Feeling mistreated, overlooked, or unappreciated __ Getting in your own way but not being able to stop __ Managing time or being on time __Negative thinking, doubts, or fears __ Trying to control, micromanage, or intimidate other people either forcibly or passive aggressively __Presenting a false face to mask your authentic feelings __Taking inconsistent action toward the things you know you should do __Overindulgence, numbing or abuse (drugs, alcohol, shopping, food, etc) ___Being uncertain, unfocused or unorganized ___Avoiding, being uncomfortable with, or afraid of conflict __ Feeling stuck or overwhelmed __Wanting life to be more fun and enjoyable __ Being way more concerned with what people will think of you than your true feelings Now take a deep breathe! Thank you for taking this self assessment. Now check your scores. For any item you rated above a 6, it's time to eliminate that struggle this week. Figure out what strategies personally work for you to deal with all the burnout, resentment, anger, stress, and unhappiness that makes you dread doing things you once loved to do for people who matter to you. If you will allow me, I would like to have a conversation with you about moving beyond these obstacles in your life. It's time to love, trust and value yourself more. If this challenge intrigues you or touches your heart, let's find time to talk. Schedule your 25 minute FREE discovery call with me and let's get down to the bottom of this! It is time to make YOU your highest priority. Loving yourself is the only way to create the space you need to consistently love the way you love and support others. xoxo Hollis G.
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